Glowing Love inside

Scared and nervous, I pack my bag

I leave knowing I will be back

I will be different, somehow changed.

Ever wondering what I should ask.

I walk to the fire, and feel the peace

crawling inside, I sense the release.

As the door closes, my mind starts to race

I think I am losing, the task I can't face.

But with the dark, comes a peace

A warm glowing place I can see.

People are talking, they really care.

I suddenly wonder why I am there.

Then I open my eyes, I see... I see!

There are others in this place with me.

Colorful people, whites, golds and yellow

Is it just me? Can they all see the glow?

I blink and think my eyes must be wrong

you can't see in the dark,

But I can, I can see them moving

all around the house made from love.

It gets harder each time we close another door

I am scared and press my face to the floor.

My heart is racing, when will it end?!

I give in, and suddenly my joy can expand.

As I go out, its a leap not a crawl

I stand and I fell as though I may fall.

I look to my left and see the shining eyes,

Of the people I was one with on the inside.

Wow is all I can say.

The fact that Sara Palin can accept $150,000 in clothing (for her AND her family) is incredible to me. She is supposedly so "down to earth" and all that crap, but that kind of money would pay off my house!! Sara friggin Palin is wearing my house.

video: "Mandy Moore Gardenia Live AT & T Blue Room"

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Gardenia by Mandy Moore

This song really speaks to me. Its so beautiful in its simple sad way.

Well, I put so much thought into getting ready
Now I know that was the best part
It's so easy to get caught up in what I'm regretting
Forgetting what I got from a wounded heart

I'm the one who likes Gardenia
I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor
I don't want to hang up the phone yet
It's been good Getting to know me more

I've been seeing all my old friends in the city
Walking alone in Central Park
Doing all the things that I've neglected
I traded 'em all in To be in your arms

I'm the one who likes Gardenia
I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor
I don't want to hang up the phone yet
It's been good Getting to know me more

Well, I hear my own voice It sounds so silly
I keep on telling my story all around
Everything I lost ain't so different
Cause this is how everybody gets found

I'm the one who likes Gardenia
Oh, I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor
And I don't want to hang up the phone yet
It's been good Getting to know me more

A little creativity goes a long way..

So every once in awhile I get this creative streak and just want to color. So I did this picture of "love flowers" for Matt. The inside of the flowers is made up of hearts (that is why they are called "love flowers"). I was SO proud of my finished artwork I had to share it here. Christian also made one with me, he is so creative. Pretty good work for markers and crayons... ha ha!

Christian and Soccer

Christian LOVES soccer. He loves to play it, watch it, teach it. I went to his game on Saturday and it was FREEZING cold. You wouldn't know it by looking at the kids playing on his team though. So the opposing team never showed up (again, I am sure it was because it was FREEZING cold). So the kids ended up playing the adults. It was so hilarious to watch! The kids on that team are SOOOO good, and their parents are even better. I was tempted to play with the parents, till I SAW them play. At one point the ball never touched the ground. It just went from one leg to the next till it went in the goal. It was amazing. So Christian has such a great time playing, I love watching him. I am even more excited to watch indoor soccer starting in November I think. It is so fast paced and so loud, I just get sucked into the exciting energy of the game!



If you want to see Christian play, he has 1 game left for fall soccer. They are played at the Taylorsville Rec Center on 2700 W and about 5000 South. The fields are just south of the Rec Center. His last game is Wednesday (10/15) at 6:30. Look for the girl wrapped up in blankets, that'll be me.

Naddy and I

So in my quest for something to do while I am sitting here at work, I discovered that Naddy and I really like taking pictures of ourselves. Together, that is. And in all the pictures, we have a theme. Let me know if you can't spot the theme. We are actually getting pretty dang good at taking pictures of ourselves!

Natalie and Canyon just moved back in with us. I am so excited to have them here!! Its like having all my favorite people under one roof! And Natalie really helps me want to change and be a better person. Maybe its the "big sister" in me that wants her to think of nothing but the best in me. In any case, I am just so happy they are with us and back in Utah!!

Holy S#$! I can't believe its 2008!

Wow. I can't believe its 2008. Almost 2009! I look at all my kids, and my Matt and it seems like just yesterday Matt was proposing.

So Matt is working for Jetblue right now as a Project Manager. It seems to pass the time till we become independently wealthy. I am working at Academy Mortgage during the day (part time), and also still working as a bartender at the Woodshed in downtown SLC. It keeps us busy, that's for sure!

Gavin is in 8Th grade, almost 14, and taller than I am. He is a good kid. Always trying to help out and is really patient with his younger siblings. He is doing pretty good in school and reads all the time! He just had to have his appendix out, so there was a little vacation from school for him :) Although I think he would rather be anywhere else. He started a MySpace page at http://www.myspace.com/gundamgav I can't believe how old he is. I remember being in 8Th grade.....

Chloe is in 6th grade and almost 12. I can't believe how old she is getting and SO quickly!! I keep remembering the little girl with the green eyes that hardly talked to anyone. That was SO long ago! Chloe has been taking Horse back riding lessons and loves it! She has won a few awards, and is doing so well! Chloe is growing up so quickly, I wish she would slow down and be a little girl for longer. But she is going to be a "pre-teen" this year, and boy can you tell she is ready for that!

Christian is in 4th grade and just turned 10. He is almost as tall as mom is, which makes me feel so small! Soon all my kids will be towering over me and poking me in the head. Chris has been playing soccer and LOVES it. His coach, Ivan, is really patient with all the kids. Chris's team is so good, they have had to play up a grade because no one can beat them. Christian is doing amazing in school and loves his teacher. He is going to put a couple entries into the Reflections contest. One of him dancing on video. He loves to dance. he got an MP3 player for his birthday and is always got it on and is dancing around.

Caleb is in 2nd grade, and just turned 8. And I can't believe he is 8. I miss my little blonde haired baby!! How did he grow so fast!! Caleb is excited to start taking tumbling lessons. He took them once before, and loved it so much he asks about it all the time, so we finally gave in and said he can take lessons again. He is a whiz on a skate board, and is so daring it scares me! He has no fear, and will try anything. He loves to ride on his skateboard and his heeleys with his dad. Caleb likes school right now, he is doing so well. And his teacher is really great.